Nights out have been the subject of many of my blogs. Usually, I try my best to give you an insight into the events on a night out on the tiles. On this occasion, I take one step further. I am back in Leicester and I am not alone. But loneliness is a strange beast and at times, you can feel lonely, even when surrounded by some two thousand people, out for a good time. Why can this be? How can you feel this way, when all those around you are having a good time? Perhaps, because as much as your surroundings have changed, amid a few familiar faces, you don’t feel you belong. Nonsense, how can this be so? You are a student, just as much as anyone else. A friend of mine would say, well rather a few would say actually, it’s all about confidence. The confidence, that was so instilled in me, on my night out in Bedford on Saturday 22nd February, had vanished and instead, I felt an emptiness. The reasons for this at the time to me were extremely unclear. My mind was clouded, much like the dancefloor, with all it’s new unfamiliar faces and smoke rising to the ceiling to the sound of some heavy R’n’B.

It was later that I realised why, I felt the way I did and my night out had ended in such a negative and abrupt fashion. Our memories are made up of names, faces and places. Nothing else matters, nothing else ever will because that is all that will be left. When the night draws to a close and the people head home, the evening is nothing but a memory. A distant memory. I try my best to remember this. It is my Final Year and my life as a student is rapidly passing me by. I will do my best to record all the events, good and bad, with success and failure along the way, in my web blog. It will be a true record of my time in Leicester, reflecting my moods and times. Of course, every story has a soundtrack and I will endeavor to bring you the greatest soundtrack to my life here. Have I let you down in the past?

I left Zanzibar, on Gravel Street, opposite the bus station, towards the north of the city. The heavy crowds had disappeared and a handful of taxis, eagerly anticipated their fare for the evening. As I enter the cool September night, and the icy night Leicester air, overwhelmed my face, I headed forward and steadily rushed past Creation. Yet another popular student night spot. What song could I hear, blasting through the thin glass windows of the club? MC Metz & Trickz with their song Aja Mahe. One of the few desi tunes I had been blasting on my commute to and from work, since March 2003. (When my dear friend Sippy, happened to FTP the tracks down to me in High Wycombe!)

If you can recall the lyrics from Baz Luhrman’s song, “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” from 1999, he offers some comments on ‘advice’ and it’s merits.

Be careful whose advise you buy
but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia
dispensing it, is a way of wishing the past from the disposal,
wiping it off… recycle it for more than it’s worth.

I firmly believe there is a time and a place for advice, particularly on sensitive subjects, close to one’s heart. I was given two pieces of advice which, with the power of hindsight (an exact science?) seem very profound comments. “Much better… more suitable…” Sure, perhaps I can agree with the generous donor of such advice, wholeheartedly now. As they reference a part of my life, which is in the past and but a glimmer of a memory, of a time and place. It’s difficult, but the comparisons are there with the song, by Busted.

Along She Came, with her picture
Put it in a frame so I won’t miss her
Got on a plane, from London Heathrow
Seems such a shame…

Where is the shame, when I feel nothing, but miss something, long gone, so much!

“Heard she’s engaged…no ones to blame, that’s where it all ends…” and it indeed it has but then why, do I feel the way I do? Leicester, the memories come back and “words cannot describe the way I’m feeling…”