As I lay on my bed, and think of the year flown by and the promise of the year ahead, I shed a tear. I shed a tear for you. For what could have been, for what might have become. If only, like me, you had been the one to truly believe. But this was more than belief. For holding on you need more than belief. For someone, you hold on with strength. People all make mistakes and I will be the first to admit that at times I have drifted from the righteous path. Afterall when people ask ‘Why’, I just tell them that it’s one of the purest forms of, human nature. Is not this turn one of general admiration and respect, It is much harder to admit your mistakes and regain the righteous path, rather than turning a blind eye to the evil that you are bringing to your world.

I brush away the tear from my cheek. For too long have you intimidated my life, my thoughts, even my dreams. Even after some 14 months of cold radio silence.

Having settled the ghosts of the past, I come to review the year that was 2003. I will begin the review now and include a brief personal insight into the month, taking into account my blog entry at the time, and how subsequent events transpired during the course of the year. The actual blog entries are hyperlinked, so you can cross-reference the material if you so wish. There is also the inclusion of the music that I was listening to at the time, mainly in the car and in my WinAmp Playlist.

January 2003 – [Blog Entries]

The promise that a new year brings and the doors it opens are shattered some 24 hours and 3 minutes into 2003. Friendship is a fragile entity and the smallest ripple can crush it forever. Perhaps I was foolish. Foolish to believe but then is friendship after love, a dream beyond reality. When the other party builds up such a belief, you are by far from foolhardy. So with some 30 distant characters in a lonely text message, the words would haunt me like a bad dream and so like a gunshot rupturing behind me, I try to gather the broken pieces of pride, what little fragments of it remain. Can a text message really break a young man to a quivering wreck? An SMS message has no such power. The power comes from the sender. But in this case, the only power shown by the sender is that of utmost cowardice. They will beg to differ that few. The record will show, what was said, by whom and when. For it still sits in the archive. Like a lost soul, with no ‘named’ sender, waiting for its end. It had hope, or rather the sender had hoped the message would have been deleted in the rush of what would be my first-day work in 2003. No, not this time. There it will stay until the time is right for it to be written out of time. The time will come and I’m sure it will be very soon. This one event would have the most profound effect on the rest of my year. To this day, I’m not quite sure, how or why. Being stuck on the M1 for over 10 hours would be a low light towards the end of the month.

Tracks of the month:
Divine Inspiration – The Way
3rd Edge – Know You Wanna
Erasure – Solisbury Hill

February 2003 – [Blog Entries]

In February, recovered somewhat from the shocks of the previous month, I would find my hero, our hero would too be under the spotlight but for him, the worse was yet to come and for me, the worst was over and the turn, a case of time. Towards the end of the month, I would come within touching distance of one of my favourite contemporary popstars, who has a promising future.

Track of the month:
Mis-Teeq – Scandalous